Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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