hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
