sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
