So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
