I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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