I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
