Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
