Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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