he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
He passed out mid-signature
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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