i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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