Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
40s are totally the cure
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
