Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Houston, we have a blender
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
