i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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