pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
