hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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