seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
