I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize