somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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