right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
