Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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