in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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