i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
