She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
