yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
