I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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