the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
