I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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