____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
