I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
