What a fucking waste of an outfit
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Vodka?
Forever.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Randomize
