I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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