But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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