mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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