my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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