I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
