Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
