fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
