I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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