I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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