She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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