anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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