I must be too annoying 4 u.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
