I hope mine doesn't look like that
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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