shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
