Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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