I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
