My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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