she was so not down for the gang bang
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
