The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Don't tell me you're on acid again
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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