I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
