so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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