Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
