It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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