Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
