so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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