Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
