next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
