I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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