beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
