if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
