mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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