hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
