i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
