Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
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