I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
