All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
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