You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
