Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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