Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I wear drunk well.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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