Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
